Five (and a half) ways to build psychic rapport and improve your readings

Posted by Michelle Gruben on

Psychic rapport between two people

There are many scenarios in which it’s useful to create a temporary psychic bond between individuals. Perhaps you are about to do a reading or healing for a client. Maybe you’re about to work together in a magickal spell or ritual. Or maybe you just want to use your psychic skills to be a better listener, listening to the person’s energy as well as their words.

Here are some easy ways to tune in psychically to another person. (You probably already use one or more of these methods!) Most can be used in combination with each other:

#1: Synchronize your breathing

So many spiritual activities begin with a shared, synchronized breath. Even mundane events often begin by asking everyone to read along with an invocation or prayer. Why? A common point of focus helps knit the scattered energy of the room together. Shared breath sets everyone to the same rhythm and on the same wavelength.

When working one-on-one, sit across from your partner and match your breathing to theirs. You can amplify the rapport by chanting together or mirroring each others' movements. Breathing consciously has the added benefit of removing physical distractions—a prerequisite for doing most kinds of psychic work.

#2: Visualize

Visualization is the gateway to many other psychic techniques. It is a very effective way to connect your energy to another’s. You start out with a picture in your mind, and soon you can feel its effects throughout your entire body.

You might see your chakras and the other person’s becoming connected by beams of light. You might reach out in your mind for the gap between your bodies, and feel that gap slowly narrowing. Two people might imagine themselves as trees, slowly growing together until roots and branches touch.

There are countless visualizations that can be used to set up a psychic link. Find one that works for you and teach it to your partner. Alternatively, ask them to remain open and neutral while you carry out the visualization. You’ll be sitting inside their skin before you know it.

#3: Touch your partner

Physical touch is one of the fastest ways to connect psychically to someone or something. For professional readers, it’s not always appropriate to touch a client. But for friends, lovers, and magickal partners, it’s a "handy" technique! Try joining palms or touching foreheads to facilitate the transfer of energy between you.

For empathic folks (especially unpracticed ones), touch can be too much. If you find yourself flooded with thoughts, emotions, and energy faster than you can parse them, physical touch is not the tool for this job. Resist the temptation to jerk away, which is jarring for both parties. Step back gradually, gently breaking the touch and slowing the rapport.

#4: Pass an object

If you’ve ever played a game of catch, you know how this one works. When you first begin to throw a ball, it’s a little clumsy. You might even drop it once or twice. But as the game continues, the speed picks up and so does the accuracy. Pretty soon, you can guess where your partner will lob the ball before it even leaves their hand.

Objects facilitate the transfer of energy, and the act of passing brings two or more people into rapport. The group leader who deploys a “talking stick” knows this. So does the Tarot reader who invites her client to shuffle the cards. So does the priestess who passes the chalice around the circle. Incorporating an object into your working is a good alternative when direct touch isn’t feasible.

#5: Cast a circle

Circle-casting comes from the ceremonial magick and neo-Pagan traditions. When you cast a circle, you’re creating a temporary, non-physical boundary in your workspace. You can do this through pure intention or through some ritual means. It works best if you have the co-operation of everyone who will be contained within the circle.

Circles are like psychic echo chambers, containing and amplifying the energy of the participants. Even people who don’t consider themselves to be psychic are often surprised at the intensity of perception within a ritual circle. The circle also blocks outside influences from the work at hand. Consider using one for your most important workings and readings.

Circle etiquette requires that you ground out raw emotional energy before placing yourself within the circle’s confines. (Failing to do so is a bit like farting in a crowded elevator.) Naturally, it’s normal to be a bit choosy about who you circle up with.

#5.5: Using drugs and herbs

There are many substances that have the ability to aid with psychic rapport, and not just hard drugs. Alcohol tends to dull psychic perception, but it does have magickal uses in small amounts. (For instance, it eases anxiety and loosens inhibitions.) Caffeine is a rapport-building drug: People linger in coffeeshops because caffeine makes mediocre conversations seem far more interesting. Marijuana adds an interesting dimension to energy work, but it produces un-magickal side effects like hunger, sluggishness, and pontification. Seer’s herbs like Damiana, Salvia Divinorum, and Mugwort may be “legal highs,” but their effects can be powerful and unpredictable.

While I'm not against drugs, I do tend to view their use in magick as an ill-advised shortcut. Advanced folks don't need them, and beginners are better off learning foundational skills at their own pace. If you do use drugs and herbs for psychic openness, do so carefully. Most of them have serious drawbacks. There’s also the risk that, instead of connecting with the other person, you end up on a solitary trip. (Which is soooo not the point.) With all this in mind, drugs and herbs get half a point on our list.

Getting consent

It’s worth a mention that the above energy-sharing techniques are most effective—and most ethical—if everyone is on board. Forcing a psychic link on someone is very possible, but it’s also very intrusive. Newbies will feel vaguely violated, perhaps without knowing why. Adepts will see exactly what you’re up to.

Does that mean you need to say “excuse me” every time you brush against someone’s aura? Of course not. We all give and receive energy every day as part of being human. You should know if you’re using psychic skills to manipulate someone or to obtain information that’s really not your business.

If you’re doing a reading, healing, or ritual with someone, you can assume that they’re okay with some level of psychic rapport. Still, it’s good form to keep verbal communication open, too. Explain what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, what they can expect to feel. (“It helps if I take your hands for a moment before I start the reading. You may feel a sensation of energy. Is that okay?”) It is the unwritten responsibility of the more skilled person to manage the intensity of the connection.

Dissolving psychic bonds

When it’s time to close the connection, do it gently but decisively. Quick exits are unpleasant, kind of like a door slamming or rubber band snapping. On the other hand, you don’t want to walk around with a bunch of half-formed links to friends, clients, and strangers.

My teachers have shown me that the best way out of any working state is “back the way you came.” This means that whatever method you used to form the psychic rapport, do the same thing in reverse. For example, you linked up with your partner by joining your feet, then brow, then hands. The exit requires releasing the hands first, followed by the brow, and finally, feet. If you visualized your awareness flowing out from your body, then gather it back in using the opposite visualization.

After the link is dissolved, you may want to spend a little time getting back in your own skin. Talk, eat, have a laugh. Discuss what you felt and what you accomplished. It’s also a good idea to check up on the other participant(s), helping them to ground and center if necessary. (Round up any stragglers with these quick grounding tips!)

If you link up with someone often, don’t be surprised if more permanent bonds begin to form. That’s one of the little-discussed side effects of psychic work…and a topic for another article.

Using psychic bonds properly will enhance your readings and spellwork, and give you a rewarding sense of connection with others. These are powerful tools, so use them with love and care!


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